Make the Call - Staying Connected

By Richie Baker, Founder, World Change Coalition

If you've been reading this blog lately, you've probably noticed something.

We’ve been talking about the science of breast cancer. A lot.

We’ve looked at new research, prevention, treatments and the science that continues to change our understanding of breast cancer.  There is good reason for that. Breast cancer is an important part of why the World Change Coalition exists, and when something comes along that might help women and their families, I want to understand it and talk about it.

But sometimes we get caught up in a subject.

So, this week, we're changing gears.

No studies. No statistics. No percentages. No discussion of the latest research.

This week's blog is about something much simpler.

Call the friend you've been meaning to call.

Think of someone you cared about and simply lost touch with.

Human Connections Need Maintenance

We maintain all kinds of things in our lives.

We change the oil in our cars. We maintain our homes. We go to the dentist. We update our computers. We worry about our finances. We try to maintain our health.

Yet some of the most valuable things we possess, our relationships with other people, can go remarkably long periods without any maintenance at all.

Friendships are funny that way.

We don't usually make a conscious decision to lose touch with someone. Most of the time, nothing dramatic happens.

Life just gets in the way.

We get busy. Careers happen. Families happen. People move. Children grow up. Grandchildren arrive. Responsibilities pile up.

One week becomes a month. A month becomes a year.

And every once in a while, someone's name crosses your mind.

I really need to call him.

I wonder how she's doing.

We haven't talked in forever.

And then the phone doesn't ring.

We've all done it.

Think of That Person

I'm willing to bet that most of us have someone like this in our lives.

Maybe it's a childhood friend.

Maybe it's someone you worked beside for 30 years.

Maybe it's the person who lived next door before one of you moved away.

Maybe it's a college roommate, an old boss, a cousin, a mentor, or somebody with whom you

shared an important chapter of your life.

Maybe it's someone you once talked to every week and now somehow haven't spoken with in two years.

There wasn't an argument.

Nobody stopped caring.

Life simply moved along.

Here's the interesting part: sometimes when you finally reconnect, it takes about three minutes before the years disappear.

You laugh about something that happened 25 years ago.

You ask about the kids.

You remember people and places you haven't thought about in years.

And before long you wonder why you waited so long to call.

We Have Never Been More Connected

There is a strange contradiction in the world we live in today.

We have never had more ways to communicate with one another.

We text. We email. We post photographs. We follow each other on social media. We send emojis, birthday greetings and little thumbs-up symbols.

We can know where somebody went on vacation, what they ate for dinner and what their dog did yesterday without actually having a conversation with them.

That's communication, but I'm not sure it's always connection.

There is still something different about hearing someone's voice.

There is something different about asking, "How are you doing?" and actually staying around long enough to hear the answer.

Human connection requires a effort.

And maybe that's why it matters.

Don't Wait for a Reason

One thing has become increasingly clear to me:

We spend too much time waiting for occasions.

We get together at weddings.

We call when someone gets sick.

And sometimes we stand in a room filled with people and hear wonderful things said about someone who isn't there to hear any of them.

Why not tell them now?

You don't need an occasion.

You don't even need anything particularly profound to say.

"I was thinking about you."

That's enough.

The People Who Helped Us Along the Way

When I look back over my own life, I realize just how many people have been part of it.

Family, friends, teachers, coworkers, mentors, neighbors and people who appeared for only a few years but somehow left a permanent mark.

Some gave me opportunities.

Some taught me things.

Some challenged me.

Some made me laugh.

Some stood beside me during difficult times.

And some simply made a particular period of my life better because they were there.

I suspect that's true for most of us.

We didn't get where we are entirely by ourselves.

There were people along the road.

Some are still walking beside us.

Some took another road years ago.

But they mattered.

And if they mattered, maybe it's worth telling them.

One Small Challenge

World Change Coalition was founded on an ambitious idea: trying to make the world a better place.

Over time, I've come to believe that changing the world doesn't always require doing something enormous.

Sometimes we become so overwhelmed by the size of the problems around us that we forget about the small things we actually can do and how much difference a small act can make. 

We can be kind.

We can listen.

We can say thank you.

We can tell somebody that they mattered.

And we can make a phone call.

So that's my challenge to you this week.

Think of one person.

Not somebody you need something from. Not the business calls you've been putting off. Not

someone you're supposed to call.

Think about the person whose name has crossed your mind more than once lately.

The one you've been meaning to call.

Then stop meaning to.

Make the call.

Maybe you'll talk for five minutes, for an hour.

Maybe you'll get voicemail.

Maybe the first thing they'll say is, "I can't believe you called. I was just thinking about you."

Who knows?

But you'll have done something important. You'll have maintained a human connection.

And in a world where we're constantly being told to think bigger, move faster and accomplish more, perhaps it's worth remembering that some of the most meaningful things we do are remarkably small.

One person.

One conversation.

One phone call.

"Hi. I was thinking about you."

Sometimes that's enough to make someone's day a little better.

Sometimes, that's how we start to change the world.

Make the call.

Thank you, as always, for reading and for being part of the World Change Coalition.

Mom, I miss talking with you.  Thank you for all the amazing conversations we did have.  They made a difference.  They helped make me who I am.

Love you always, Richie

This post reflects my own reading and personal perspective. It is not medical advice. Anyone navigating a breast cancer diagnosis should talk with their oncology team about treatment options and ongoing clinical trials.